


Triumph

by winterwaltz6



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-06
Updated: 2011-12-06
Packaged: 2017-10-27 00:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/289355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterwaltz6/pseuds/winterwaltz6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short fic based on the prompt "obsession" with spoilers for episode 32 or chapter 98. Ichigo knows his own intentions much better than he pretends not to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Triumph

**Author's Note:**

> A few years ago the LJ comm bleachedblackk had a Valentine's Day challenge, where you had 20 minutes to write a dark fic based on the prompt _obsession_. You weren't allowed to look at the prompt prior to writing either. Anyways, after having recently read the Bleach Character Guide, I was obsessed with the scene between Ichigo and Renji from chapter 98 (or episode 32). It was my inspiration for this ...semi?-dark fic. Totally unedited and written in 21 minutes, I think I rather like it.

Ichigo remembers the moment all too well, sick vivid details haunting him. He knows it is wrong to think on it so frequently, that Renji would be even more embarrassed and ashamed if he knew how often Ichigo touched on that memory.

 _Kurosaki...I’m asking you, knowing that I shame myself..._

At first, Ichigo thought it was the first time that he’d ever been able to find some respect for Renji. It takes a man to admit his secrets, to confess that he can’t handle it all himself. Ichigo knows this, even if he rarely finds himself treading down this particular road of shame. And even with the wounds, and the blood, and the screaming terror of potential loss ringing through his ears, he remembers that moment all too well. Renji’s humiliation sat well with him. He’d wanted to push him to the ground and punish him for the hell he’d put him through for the sake of his misplaced pride. Wanted to put a permanent scar on his face for an eternal reminder. So that he could wake up every day, look in the mirror and know that Ichigo was the one who wasn’t afraid to do more than bark at the moon. And the thoughts of degrading Renji hadn’t felt a bit wrong at the time—after all, a little bit of retribution wasn’t that strange after you’d been cut by another’s sword.

But to think back on it, after so much time passing. Well, Ichigo was beginning to think he was a bit sick. As much as he wants to hide his secret in the darkened corner of a room, ignore it until it disappears, he can’t help the desire to see Renji shamed and begging for help. See the look in his eyes again when admitting defeat. And when he sees his chance, Ichigo takes it, not even sure what his motives really are anymore.

“You lost your chance,” he tells Renji. And the fist that comes at him in response feels good, and he deserves it, and some weird part of him wants it.

Rukia would be furious, think them both idiots, and refuse to speak to them for weeks. She would be right.

And when Renji pushes Ichigo up against the wall, holding him there with no contact except his fist in his shirt, Ichigo reminds him of the truth, since Renji seems so inclined to forget it. “You're still the stray dog, you know. We’d take you in if you simply had the guts to ask for it.”

And Renji is still silent except for his violence. But Ichigo gets the message loud and clear. It’s his own damn intent that he still can’t understand.

“You’re a fucking prick, Ichigo.” Renji says, his voice choking slightly, his head hanging in defeat, and as much as it still shames him, he knows he will beg for it. The sight brings a sharp twist to Ichigo’s chest, and the pain is frightening. And perhaps he knows his intent more than he is willing to admit.


End file.
